Stages of culture shock

"There” always looks better as “here”. 

But once you are “there” you will simply obtain a new “here” and again see a better “there”.  For me "here" was Europe and "there" was Thailand. Let's check reality, if that does exists.

Update : After 20 years here is now Thailand en there is Europe. And there starts to look better again.

Overlooking the Chao Phraya River in Bangkok, Thailand (1997)

Stage 1, Meeting Thailand

The first stage started for me in 1985 when I was on a 1-month holiday in Indonesia and Thailand. I did fall in love with the Asian way of life and I did feel at home. And from 1991 I continued to come back to Thailand, Laos, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia, Vietnam and China. In that time I more and more started to like the Asian way of life of which I of course only could see a glimpse, while being on holiday here. 

Update : After 20 years I like the Asian way of life and think I will die in Europe.

Stage 2, Falling in love with Thailand and all that becomes with it

The second stage began for me was in 1998 when my wife and me traveled for 6 months in SEA. My wife could easily fall back in her old life again, I could not. And I started to work in China and Thailand. At this time I did not only fall in love with Thailand but also with the nightlife of Bangkok and the sweet Angels that become with it. 

Update : After 20 years I still love the chaos of Thailand.

Stage 3, Party in Bangkok

The third stage was the first 1 or 2 years that I lived in my new home country. I escaped the traditional way of “living & working” and life was one big party. I did not understand anything of the local language or culture. Of course I did not think so at that moment. I did work once and a while and made good money which I spend just as easy I did make it. A stage in which I saw myself as better and smarter as “those” Thai and other guests of this wonderful country. 

Update : That stage did not take long and is totally forgotten.

Stage 4, Wake-up the day after the party

And then somehow, somewhere I slowly transformed myself to the fourth stage. Maybe it has to do something with the fact that at least I started to understand a little bit Thai and some cultural things? It for sure is a stage where I realized that returning back to my old home-country would be very difficult. I started to accept more of the new culture and not seeing it all as bad. I also started to read more about daily life & politic in Thailand. This stage has maybe a second stage where I made the decision that my future life must be here in Thailand. Also where I realized that life in my old home-country was not so bad at all. Actually there are a lot of good and nice things in the old continent. Then I also started to realize that I have to overcome in a better way the cultural and language cap between me and my new home country.

Stage 5, Whatever that is

I think at the moment I am at the end of stage 4 or at the beginning of stage 5, whatever that might be. One thing is for sure; returning back home would be more difficult as ever before, but on the other hand not as impossible as it did seem in the beginning. If for some reason I have to go back I fill not choose the “body-bag” way. In the meanwhile I did find my own home sweet home and the best wife I could think of. More and more again I look to the future, instead of only to today. “Carpe diem”. Yes, but not only this day also tomorrow and next week and next year. I found good friends, nice neighbors and other lovely people. My “there” has become my “here”, but with other people, better weather and no stress. As life is too short to worry about it.

Are there more stages?

Update : After 20 years I am sure there will be more stages.